A time to reinvent myself and my life.

Tomorrow I’m going to spend some time with my family. It will be nice to just relax and reflect on my life- all my ups and downs. Accomplishments, failures, good times, bad times, and they have all led me to this one moment in time. This ever occurring moment that always has so much promise, so much inspiration, so much desire, but I always end up in. Always wanting to become that perfect version I have in my mind. Truth is I will probably never get to be that girl, but if I try I’ll get closer to her and most likely become someone better. I want to be confident and friendly. I want to make new friends and feel like I’m proud of myself in every way. No I may not be as thin as I wanted to be, but I’m trying to get to a healthier place. I have to be real honest with myself I have to do this right here and right now or it is never going to happen. When I look back at when I was a young child I admire her for being confident and not afraid to do anything. She still lives inside of me and I think it is time for her to come out. I’m going to do things I’m scared to do, but I’m going to fake it. I’m going to pretend like I know what I’m doing and figure it out on the way. I’m going to reach out to people so I don’t have to spend my whole semester bored in class. I’m going to love myself and not let anything get between me and my dreams. I’m going to find time to fit in everything I want to do. No, every day I may not fit every little thing in, but I’m going to get majority of it in there. I know there will be days I’m going to be tired, discourage, and won’t feel 100%, but that’s a part of life. The most important thing in life is how you react to things that happen to you, not what happens to you. Everyday I’m going to live life.

New Beginings

This time next week I will have started my first day of college as a Junior.  Lots of new things are starting up in my life, and I'm not sure I am ready for all of it.  I am starting a new job as a tutor with the student athlete center, and continuing my job with student support services.  I have training Wednesday and Friday for these jobs.  I'm worried about the hours I am going to be working and how that is going to effect my school work.  My Dad also just told me I need to get my own phone plan.  So now I have to figure out how to pay for a cell phone and internet services.  My best friend just got married so that is all going to be different.  I also wanted to try to be an officer for Psi Chi.  I just don't know if I am going to have time to do all of these things.  Already I am having trouble scheduling things.  For September 7th I have class 6-9pm, but I'm invited to the iduction ceremony.  I really wanted to go,but now I can't.  I'm supposed to have lunch with my Dad's parents tomorrow and I am worried about how that is going to go.  My hometeam meetings are also complicated now that I am so busy, and I don't know if I am going to be able to continue to go because of my late night Tuesday class.  I've had a great summer, but I didn't get done with half the things I wanted to do.  So, I partially feel like I've wasted my summer.  I did go to a lot of cool places that I didn't think I would be able to go to though.  I guess going places that are unexpect is better than going to the same old places that you've always planned on going to every summer.  My weight struggle is still continuing as well.  I'm once again going to get back on track and hope it works.  I REALLY do not want to spend another holiday season feeling like a whale.  I've been sitting waiting here all day for a guy to come fix our leaking toliet and he is supposed to be here soon.  I hope this goes well..... I also have to go get  my car fixed from the recall Wednesday.... so much for a relaxing week before school starts back up...